


The Torment of Daniel

by Rachel500



Series: Aftershocks [10]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief, S1 Aftershocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-10
Updated: 2007-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel500/pseuds/Rachel500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TAG to The Torment of Tantalus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Torment of Daniel

'Do you think they'll get together?' Daniel Jackson murmured as he stepped into the elevator with Colonel Jack O'Neill.

'Who?' Jack asked stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Daniel refrained from rolling his eyes and chose his floor. 'Catherine and Ernest.' He said patiently referring to the elderly couple they had just escorted from the SGC base. Catherine Langford had taken charge of her one-time fiancé Ernest Littlefield and they were heading back to her home together. Ernest had a lot of adjusting to do given the changes on Earth since his trip through the Stargate in the 1940's.

Jack winced visibly and rocked back on his heels. 'I don't even want to think about it, Daniel.'

'Why?' Daniel asked folding his arms across his chest.

'Why?' Jack repeated glancing at the floor indicator. 'Because they're old, Daniel.'

'So were you not so long ago.' Daniel remarked under his breath thinking back to the Colonel's experience of being aged by nanocytes.

'What?' Jack said.

Daniel plastered an innocent look in his face. 'What?'

The elevator came to a halt and the doors slid open before Jack could reply.

'My stop.' Daniel said cheerfully practically leaping out into the corridor. 'See you later.'

'Yes, Daniel. You will see me later.' Jack enjoyed the flash of panic on the archaeologist's face as the elevator doors slid shut again. He punched the button of the floor he wanted and settled back against the wall, grateful to have the opportunity to lean on something. His whole body was a multi-coloured hue after the mission to rescue Ernest. A fall down a flight of steps to save Captain Carter and himself from ending up in the bottom of the ocean along with the DHD had been followed by a rough landing out of an unstable wormhole onto the SGC ramp. Getting home had been a close call and given Carter's assertion that he really didn't want to know how close, he was willing to bet it had almost been too close. He shook his head and ignored the nagging flicker of anger at why it had been a close call. He and Daniel had made it back; that was the important thing.

The elevator stopped and Jack strode out towards General Hammond's office. He had been ordered to report once their visitors were off base. He rapped on the door and when Hammond called out to enter, walked in, shutting the door behind him. The General was sat in his red leather chair bent over a stack of reports that covered the desk, his attention on the open folder he was reading.

'General.' Jack came to attention in front of the desk.

Hammond's pale blue eyes glanced up at Jack briefly before returning to the folder. He made a final notation and sat back. 'At ease, Colonel. Did Catherine Langford and Ernest Littlefield get away OK?' He asked as Jack adjusted his stance.

'Yes, sir.' Jack confirmed.

'Good.' Hammond folded his hands over his stomach. 'You're aware that Doctor Jackson has asked to delay SG1's next mission until he can complete his study of Doctor Littlefield's notes and for Captain Carter to complete the computer model of the device on the planet?'

'Yes, sir.' Jack kept his tone neutral.

'What's your view, Colonel? Is this device as important as Doctor Jackson seems to think?'

'I'm the wrong person to ask, General.' Jack said evading the question. 'Daniel's the expert.'

'Take a guess, Colonel.' Hammond ordered.

'As Daniel said in the debriefing, sir,' Jack began, 'he and Doctor Littlefield are convinced the planet was the meeting place for four advanced alien races which includes the aliens we think protect Cimmeria from the Goa'uld. If that's true, there are potentially three other advanced races in addition to the one we know about who might oppose the Goa'uld out there.'

'And the device may have contained valuable information about these races and how to find them.' Hammond completed.

'It's a thought, sir.' Jack noted.

'So you support Doctor Jackson's request?' Hammond's blue gaze stayed on Jack's relentlessly.

Jack considered his reply carefully. 'I think Daniel deserves a crack at seeing whether the notes or the recordings he made of the device contain the information we're after, sir.' He shifted his weight a little. 'However, I don't support an unlimited time-frame. I'd like SG1 back out in the field ASAP.'

'I agree, Colonel.' Hammond smiled at the younger man pleased with his balanced response. 'Doctor Fraiser has recommended we delay SG1's next mission to P1X550 and that you all stay on light duties for a week to allow the bruising you, Doctor Jackson and Captain Carter sustained on the mission to heal.' He leaned forward. 'I'm inclined to give Doctor Jackson that time to review the notes and Captain Carter's computer model for any information regarding how we contact these advanced alien races. At the end of the week, all information is to be transferred to on-base personnel for follow-up and SG1 will go to P1X550 as planned.'

'Yes, sir.'

'As Doctor Jackson and Captain Carter will be otherwise occupied, I'd like you and Teal'c to brief the SG personnel on Goa'uld and Jaffa offensive strategies and tactics. Sergeant Harriman will organise the sessions and provide you with a schedule.'

Jack nodded. The briefings were important and could save the lives of the other SG team-members who didn't have the advantage of having a Jaffa working with them. 'Understood, sir.'

'I'll leave you to inform your team, Colonel.' Hammond said already reaching for the next folder in the stack on his desk. 'That will be all.'

'Yes, sir.' Jack came to attention at the dismissal. Outside of the office, with the door safely shut behind him, he rubbed his hands through his short crop of hair before he made his way back down the corridor to the elevator. He was guessing that Daniel wasn't going to be happy at the timescale.

He made his way to the archaeologist's office hoping to find him there rather than in Carter's lab; tactically he figured it would go better if he only had to deal with one scientist at a time. He sighed at the empty room and took a couple of steps inside to check Daniel wasn't hidden by a cupboard or a bookshelf. The room remained empty. He tapped his knuckles on the central workbench and turned to leave only to find Daniel walking in.

Daniel slowed and carefully changed direction to avoid the side of the office where Jack stood. 'Jack.'

'Daniel.'

'What are you doing in my office?' Daniel asked suspiciously.

Jack gestured at the archaeologist. 'Waiting for you.'

'If this about the crack I made in the elevator…' He stopped as Jack dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. 'Then what?'

'Hammond's agreed to your request for time to study Ernest's notes and anything Carter can reconstruct with the computer model.'

Daniel's blue eyes brightened. 'He has? That's great…'

'You have a week.' Jack interrupted.

'A week?' Daniel shook his head furiously. 'No. That's not enough time.'

'That's what you've got.' Jack said evenly.

'Jack, I need more time.' Daniel argued.

Jack sighed. 'Well, you have a week and then we're off to P1X…wherever.'

'But this is important, Jack. What we could learn from this is incredible…'

'I know, I know, meaning of life stuff.' Jack said dismissively.

'Yes, Jack, meaning of life stuff.' Daniel pushed a hand through his floppy brown hair in frustration. 'You didn't get it on the planet and you don't get it now.'

The sting of the condescension had Jack's hackles rising swiftly. 'Hey, I get it.' He snapped. 'What I don't get is why you're so obsessed with it.'

'Because we could learn so much…' Daniel began passionately.

'Don't give me that crap.' Jack braced himself on the table with fisted hands and leaned over it slightly. 'You've made finds before and never got this obsessed. You almost got both of us trapped on that planet because you were so intent on staying with that thing, Daniel.' His residual anger at what had happened gave the words a sharp edge that had the other man flushing.

'I apologised for that.' Daniel muttered.

Jack took a deep breath and tried to calm down. 'What's going on with you?' He asked bluntly.

'I told you.' Daniel folded his arms tightly around himself and refused to meet Jack's eyes.

'And I'm telling you I don't believe it.' Jack countered furiously. 'What happened to wanting to find Sha're and Skaara? Or have you forgotten about them?'

Daniel flinched and his face whitened. 'That's not fair, Jack.'

'Isn't it? Is this stuff really more important than finding them?' Jack asked harshly. His hand waved at the brown journal Daniel held. He straightened abruptly. 'SG1 is a field unit, Daniel. We go off world.' His hard brown stare met the archaeologist's across the dimly lit room. 'Maybe you should take the week and consider whether you still want to be a part of the team or whether you want to stay here and ponder the meaning of life.' He spun on his heel and left before he said something else he would regret.

Daniel watched him walk out with a pounding heart. He slumped onto a stool a little dazed at the argument. It wasn't the first time he had argued with Jack but it was the first time since Jack had worked out that Daniel couldn't immediately get them home from Abydos that he had felt the other man was really, deep down, furiously angry with him. He put the journal down on the table in front of him surprised to find his hands were shaking.

Dammit, he thought his own anger stirring, Jack had no right to be angry with him. OK, he conceded, the idea of staying on the planet with the device hadn't been his best ever and he had almost gotten himself and Jack trapped on the planet or, worse, lost in wormhole limbo because he had delayed their leaving with his initial insistence on staying but he had apologised for that.

Jack just didn't understand…what? Daniel asked himself suddenly, what didn't Jack understand? How potentially valuable the information in the device was? He was fooling himself if he believed Jack didn't understand _that_. The military man wasn't stupid despite his habit of underplaying his intelligence. Daniel shifted uncomfortably on the stool. No, what Jack didn't understand was why it was more important than their lives or their mission especially their personal mission to find Sha're and Skaara. He wasn't certain he understood it himself, Daniel thought suddenly weary. All he knew was that he wasn't ready to examine it yet…he needed a distraction. He reached for Ernest's journal.

o-O-o

Daniel walked down the stark corridor of the base self-consciously. He hadn't seen Jack since their argument four days before and he was a little worried that he would run into the older man. Truthfully he had no idea what to say to Jack. Since their exchange Daniel had tried his hardest to lose himself in Ernest's book; in viewing the camcorder recording and trying to decipher the writing – anything to avoid thinking about what the other man had said to him and examining the reasons why he had become obsessed with the device beyond his need to find Sha're. He pushed it to the back of his mind again as he reached Sam's lab and knocked on the open door to alert her to his presence. He pushed his glasses up his nose. The blonde Air Force Captain was fully transfixed at her computer and hadn't registered his arrival at all.

'Sam?' She didn't move and Daniel took another couple of steps inside the lab. 'Sam?' He repeated.

Sam glanced over her shoulder and smiled brightly at the sight of the archaeologist. 'Daniel. You got my message.'

'Yeah.' He walked over to her. 'You said the computer model was ready?'

'Almost.' She reached for a mug of coffee on the bench behind her and took a gulp. She waved him over. 'Come and have a look.' She hit a couple of buttons and a three dimensional graphic appeared on the screen.

Daniel stood behind her shoulder as he took in the image. It showed a detailed computer graphic of the room they had left behind on the planet with the information device in the centre and shapes projected into the high ceiling.

'The computers referencing the video you took to establish the room dimensions, position of the device and the height of the ceiling.' Sam explained. 'It's calculated the scale to position the projections correctly and I've written a programme to recalculate Ernest's measurements into that scale along with any additional video footage you were able to take.' She rubbed the ache at the back of her neck unconsciously. 'It's incredible, Daniel.'

'I know.' Daniel smiled happily at her enthusiasm. Sam had spent all her time on the planet working out a way to activate the Stargate without a functioning DHD. He had missed her in the other room. They always bounced off each other intellectually. 'I wish you could have spent more time with it, Sam.'

'Me too.' Sam said with another smile. 'I can see why you're so fascinated.'

'I'm glad someone understands.' Daniel murmured as he pulled up a stool to sit beside her.

Sam took another gulp of her coffee. 'What do you mean?'

Daniel looked at her in surprise. 'Jack didn't say anything to you?'

'About what?' Sam asked confused.

'We…uh…kinda had an argument about it.' Daniel admitted.

Sam started grinning. 'You and the Colonel arguing? I'm shocked.'

Daniel found himself smiling back at her. He wrinkled his nose. 'I guess Jack didn't mention it.'

Sam shook her head. 'I haven't really seen him and Teal'c.' She confessed. 'I've been in here working on this and they're doing those briefings on Goa'uld tactics.' She tilted her head. 'And, of course, Teal'c's been spending time in the infirmary with Doctor Fraiser.'

'The infirmary?' Daniel looked at her concerned. 'Is he alright…I mean…is he OK?'

'Hmmm-hmmm. Doctor Fraiser's just been going over the procedure to remove Teal'c's symbiote when they try using that new drug as a substitute for his immune system.' Sam reminded him. 'If she's successful, it'll mean Teal'c won't have to rely on the symbiote and we'll have a live Goa'uld to study.'

'Oh. Right.' Daniel vaguely remembered the briefing they'd attended about it a few weeks before. 'I'd forgotten about that.'

'Well, you have been a little distracted.' Sam teased him.

'Yes, distracted.' Daniel sighed.

'I can see why, Daniel.' Sam admitted. 'I've been reading the photocopies of Ernest's notes and his theories are staggering.'

'That's what I think.' Daniel said forcefully. 'I mean, this could be really important. Meaning of life stuff.' He gestured at the screen. 'This.' He said. 'It could be the explanation of why we're here.'

Sam considered his agitation. 'Is this about your argument with Colonel O'Neill?'

'No.' Daniel denied automatically before he sighed. 'Yes. Kind of.' He gestured weakly and tried to cover a little for the real reason for the argument. 'I think mainly he's mad that we almost didn't make it to the wormhole in time because of me.'

'It was a close call, Daniel.' Sam said.

'We made it.' He said defensively.

'You almost didn't.' Sam pointed out. 'The wormhole was destabilising. Another second and we'd have lost you both.' She didn't mention how worried she had been standing at the edge of the ramp and waiting for them; seeing the blue horizon of the wormhole flicker ominously and no sign of them.

'I know and I said I was sorry.' Daniel pushed his hand through his hair. 'I admit I was wrong about staying on the planet and studying the device there but…' He caught the flicker of something in Sam's blue eyes before she could hide it. 'What?'

'It's just…' Sam sighed. 'I don't understand why you wanted to stay on the planet to study the device when you knew the Stargate didn't have a working DHD and that you'd be stuck there especially when you're searching for Sha're.'

Her gentle tone and baffled expression had all his confusion surging to the surface. 'I don't know either.' He confessed brokenly. Tears sprang into his eyes and Sam abandoned her coffee to hug him awkwardly given their sitting positions.

'Hey. It's OK.' She murmured patting him lightly on the back.

Daniel wrapped his arms around her tightly and held onto her. Eventually, Sam drew back.

'You feel a little better now?' She asked softly.

'I guess.' Daniel smiled a little embarrassed as she handed him a tissue. He took his glasses off and rubbed at his damp eyes before blowing his nose.

'I'm always here if you want someone to talk to, Daniel.' Sam said rubbing his arm comfortingly.

'I know,' Daniel snagged her hand and squeezed it, 'and I appreciate it. I just wish I knew why I feel the way I do.'

'You'll work it out.' She said.

'I hope so.'

Sam handed him the rest of her coffee. 'Here. I think you need this more than I do.'

Daniel took it with a shy smile. 'Thanks.' He took a sip and hid his face in the mug.

'You want to hear something weird?' Sam asked figuring a change of subject was in order.

'What?' Daniel asked.

'I was going over the data from the logs in the dialling computer of the attempts to dial back to the gate on the planet and it doesn't make sense.' Sam said.

Daniel gestured. 'The gate's gone. We can't reconnect to it.'

'But that's what doesn't make any sense.' Sam said firmly. 'Look, the material the gate is made of is practically indestructible. There's no way it could be destroyed in something as simple as a storm no matter how bad it was.'

'So it fell into the ocean…'

'But we should have still been able to activate it.' Sam said. 'From what we understand, the gate doesn't need a power source to establish an incoming wormhole. That's why you can't just disconnect it from the power source to stop the gate being used; you have to bury the gate and cover it.'

'To stop the wormhole from establishing or stop things from coming through.'

'Exactly.' Sam brushed her fringe out of her eyes. 'We should have been able to connect back to the gate even if it had fallen in the sea. Sure we couldn't have gone through but we should have been able to connect.'

'So why can't we?' Daniel asked.

She smiled pleased to see the perplexed look in his eyes that indicated she had successfully diverted his attention. 'I don't know. That's what's weird and there's a second weird thing.'

'A second weird thing?' Daniel frowned.

'You know how Ernest said the storm came every year?'

'Yes.'

'Well, I've cross referenced the timing of the storm in his notes. He wasn't wrong. The storm came every year like clockwork at the exact same time.'

'But that's impossible.' Daniel said gesturing with the mug. 'I mean the probability of a storm hitting the exact same location at the exact same time every year is incalculable.'

'I know.' She pointed excitedly at the stack of notes on the bench beside her. 'But that's exactly what happened. Maybe these aliens had some way of controlling the weather.'

'Wow.' Daniel shook his head.

'Weird, huh?'

'Definitely, weird.' Daniel sighed. 'I should get back.' He slipped off the stool. 'Thanks for working so hard on this, Sam.'

'No problem.' She said.

'And for the coffee.' He said raising the mug. 'And the…uh…hug.'

'Any time.' Sam watched him leave with a worried frown before she turned back to the screen and the computer model.

o-O-o

Teal'c stood in the doorway of Daniel Jackson's office and wondered whether he should have insisted that O'Neill deliver the message himself. The tension between his two team-mates had not escaped his notice even though neither man had been in the presence of the other for six days. Indeed, it was the very fact that the two men hadn't spoken with each other that had sealed his suspicion that they had argued. O'Neill's brusque mood had been another clue as had the way the Colonel had winced imperceptibly whenever Daniel Jackson was mentioned in conversation.

It had been a surprise to Teal'c that the argument had been allowed to fester for days. On Chulak a serious disagreement between friends required weapons but it was speedily resolved. This strange avoidance and silence seemed unhealthy to him although Captain Carter had assured him when he had inquired about the situation with her that it was a normal human, and according to her, male reaction. It had been Captain Carter who had provided Teal'c with confirmation of the argument and the probable cause; the archaeologist's passion for the information device back on the planet which had almost caused him and the Colonel to be trapped there. Teal'c had been surprised. Both men had seemed fine in the immediate aftermath of the mission and he wondered what had prompted the argument.

Whatever it was, he determined, it was not his concern. He had been given a task and he would carry it out. Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back and entered the office, clearing his throat to announce his presence.

Daniel looked up from the computer screen. 'Teal'c.' He nudged his glasses up to rub at his eyes tiredly and slid off the chair to find a book. 'What can I do for you?'

Teal'c's dark eyes roamed over the younger man's dishevelled appearance, straggly hair and unshaven jaw. 'I came to remind you the briefing for our mission to P1X550 will take place at oh-eight-hundred tomorrow morning, Daniel Jackson.'

Daniel snatched a book off the shelf. Jack was obviously still angry with him if he'd sent Teal'c with the reminder. He ignored the sick feeling in his gut and focused unseeingly on the book he held.

Teal'c raised his eyebrow. 'Have you made any progress in determining the information within the device?'

'Some.' Daniel said pointing back at his computer monitor. 'Sam's built a computer model of the device and she's cross-referenced all the symbols across all the pages to the original elements on the first page if they occupy the same spatial coordinates. I've been trying to work with the second set of symbols to understand what they represent. They don't seem to relate to the languages on the wall in the chamber and I'm in the middle of cross-referencing them with every language on Earth…' he rambled to a halt and put the book down.

'It sounds most difficult.' Teal'c commented.

'Yes which is why I need more than a week.' He threw up his hands and reached for the coffee he had abandoned on the central workbench. 'Only everybody seems to want us to travel to P1X550 instead.'

'Do you not believe our mission there to be important?' Teal'c asked.

'Do you?' Daniel asked.

'I believe each mission provides us with a new opportunity to find weapons and allies against the Goa'uld.' Teal'c confirmed.

'And you really believe P1X550 will be the one that provides us with all that?' Daniel pressed. 'Really?'

Teal'c's eyebrow lifted again. 'We will not know until we go on the mission, Daniel Jackson.'

Daniel slumped into his chair. 'I guess not.'

Teal'c inclined his head and regarded the other man for a long moment. 'Is something troubling you, Daniel Jackson?'

Daniel suddenly focused on the Jaffa properly. He tapped his fingers restlessly against his mug. 'Teal'c, do you really think the Jaffa will be free one day?'

'I am certain of it.' Teal'c said wondering at the apparent change in subject.

'Aren't you worried you might fail?'

Teal'c's eyebrow lifted. 'Failure is not an option, Daniel Jackson.'

'It's quite an ambitious goal though isn't it?' Daniel murmured. 'Some people might think that you were reaching for something that was unattainable. Doesn't that worry you?'

Teal'c straightened. 'I am not Tantalus.'

'I'm sorry?' Daniel's own eyebrows shot up.

'Was he not a King in your Greek mythology?' Teal'c asked.

'Well, yes. He was banished to Hades and forced to stand in water that receded when he tried to drink it.' Daniel said in a rush of words as he crossed his arms and stared at the Jaffa. 'How did you know who he was?'

'I overheard Catherine Langford and Ernest Littlefield speak of him on the planet.' Teal'c admitted.

'Really.' Daniel desperately wanted to know the context for the discussion but he didn't really want to ask. Unfortunately, he realised as Teal'c remained silent, his team-mate didn't look as though he was going to explain any further. 'So you don't think you're striving for something out of reach. You really think one day your people will be free and you'll keep fighting the Goa'uld until that happens?'

'Or I die.' Teal'c confirmed.

'Right.' Daniel sighed. 'So you won't ever give up, get tired or want to call it a day?'

'I will not.' Teal'c said.

'That's…commendable, Teal'c.' Daniel said his thoughts churning. 'Sam told me you were talking to Doctor Fraiser about trying a new immunity drug.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c said. 'She believes that it may enable me to be free of the Goa'uld symbiote I carry.'

'How do you feel about that?' Daniel asked.

'Our physical reliance on the Goa'uld is the means by which they enslave us.' Teal'c said firmly. 'To be free of the Goa'uld physically is the only way we will ever be truly free.' It was the only way that his son would be free, he thought. He was keeping careful track of the days to Rya'c's prim'ta – the ceremony where he would be implanted with his Goa'uld. Teal'c was hopeful that if the treatment Doctor Fraiser wanted to try was successful he would be able to prevent his son from requiring the symbiote and so prevent his son from becoming a slave.

Daniel stared at him. 'That is so deep.'

Teal'c's eyebrow arched upwards again.

'I should get back to this.' Daniel said gesturing at his notes.

'Then I will take my leave of you.' Teal'c bowed a little and left.

Daniel sighed and turned back to the book he had picked up. He leafed through it and put it back down. His blue eyes fell on Ernest's journal and he picked it up.

 _We walked for miles today and still found no signs of civilisation. Catherine seems concerned but I am not. As long as she is here with me I will never feel alone. It seems impossible but every day we're here together I love her more._

He remembered reading the passage on the planet and envying Ernest. Daniel shook his head. The other man had conjured Catherine in desperation after finding himself alone on a planet far from Earth and the real woman he loved. What was there to envy? Had that been the reason why he had wanted to stay on the planet, Daniel wondered out loud. Had he wanted to stay so that he could imagine a life with Sha're in the same way Ernest had imagined Catherine?

Daniel pulled his glasses from his face throwing them down on the open journal. He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. It was getting harder and harder to picture Sha're in his mind. Since Cimmeria and destroying a device that could have saved her, it was even hard to believe that he would find her again and it was getting too hard to keep searching for her. He was so tired, he mused. Every time he stepped through the gate and didn't find her was another disappointment that chipped away at his resolve.

His hands dropped away from his face and he opened his eyes blearily not really seeing the page in front of him. Jack had asked him why he was so obsessed with the device, why he seemed to think it was more important than finding Sha're. Maybe it was time he faced the truth, Daniel mused and the truth was that on some level he wanted to give up. He wanted an excuse, an out, and an archaeological find that might provide the key to all existence provided him with that. He was tired of constantly going through the gate and never finding his wife.

Teal'c had proclaimed he was not Tantalus and Daniel wished he could do the same because he did feel like Tantalus; striving for something out of reach and being tormented with each unsuccessful mission. No, it was easier to focus on the incredible find on Ernest's planet, on something that might, with a lifetime of study, reveal the secrets of the universe. It was true it was important, incredibly important and something that he could fool himself into believing was more important than his own personal quest.

 _No prize is worth attaining if you can never share it; there would be no point._

And there in Ernest's words was the 'but', Daniel sighed, because if he succeeded in cracking the code of the information and did learn all the secrets of the universe, there was one person who he wanted to share it with more than any other; Sha're. It had been Ernest's words that had spurred him to leave the planet because somehow, despite everything, deep down he wanted to share his achievements, and his failures, with the woman he loved. And the only way that was going to happen, Daniel thought with a sudden fierceness, was if he found her; if he continued to go through the Stargate and search for her. The question was did he have the strength to believe anymore? Was he prepared to continue searching until he found her or he died trying? Or was he Tantalus after all?

o-O-o

Jack looked at the clock in the briefing room and scowled. It was almost ten minutes past the hour and Daniel hadn't shown up. He stared down at the buff folder in front of him and tried hard to pretend that the younger man's absence didn't affect him, that the tight feeling in his chest and gnawing sensation in his gut was just indigestion. Daniel had obviously made his decision, Jack thought harshly although a part of him couldn't believe the other man had chosen studying the meaning of life over going through the Stargate. He couldn't believe Daniel had given up on the search for Sha're that way.

'Perhaps we should page Doctor Jackson.' General Hammond suggested quietly. The room was filled with a strange tension and he wondered briefly at the cause.

'Maybe we should begin without him, sir.' Jack replied brusquely.

Hammond's pale blue eyes widened a little but he nodded. 'Captain Carter, if you could begin?'

Sam looked at the Colonel as though to check he hadn't changed his mind but his brown eyes were firmly on the table. She repressed the urge to sigh and opened her folder to start the review of the MALP data.

'Sorry I'm late.' Daniel swept into the briefing room and slipped into the chair next to Teal'c on the opposite side of the table from Jack. He avoided looking at Jack so missed the brief flicker of relief that flitted across the other man's features. Instead, Daniel placed his mug of coffee down and pushed his glasses up his nose as he met Hammond's inquiring gaze apologetically. 'It took me longer than I thought to handover my research notes on the computer model of the device and Ernest Littlefield's journal.' His hand strayed to the back of his neck which was damp from the hasty shower he had taken when the archaeologist he had been handing over to, had gently pointed out he needed a change of clothes to be presentable.

'Well, you're here now, Doctor Jackson. Let's proceed.' Hammond gestured at Sam. 'Captain.'

Sam smiled brightly at Daniel before she began and Daniel relaxed a little as he focused on the information about P1X550 and avoided looking at the Colonel across from him.

It only took half an hour before Hammond confirmed the team had permission to proceed with the mission and confirmed they were scheduled to depart in the afternoon. He dismissed them and headed for his office. The sound of the door shutting echoed in the suddenly tense and silent briefing room.

Sam looked from the Colonel who was studying his folder on P1X550 with a fascination she had never seen him have for a briefing report before to Daniel who was equally trying to look at anything but Jack. 'Teal'c, I know you wanted to speak with Doctor Fraiser about the immunity drug, perhaps we should report to the infirmary for our pre-travel checks early?'

'I agree, Captain Carter.' Teal'c said gently, rising from the table.

They hurried from the room leaving their two team-mates alone, staring after them.

'Subtle.' Daniel commented dryly.

'Wasn't it though?' Jack agreed.

Their eyes met across the table in shared humour for a moment before the reason why their team-mates had deserted them came hurtling back to them.

'Daniel.'

'Jack.'

They both stopped having spoken at the same time.

'I'm sorry.' Daniel said hurriedly before Jack had the opportunity to speak again. 'I know I put us, you, at risk on the planet and I'm sorry about that.'

Jack nodded slowly. 'I shouldn't have yelled at you about it. I said some things…'

'I think maybe I deserved it this time.' Daniel murmured meeting Jack's brown gaze squarely.

'You want to talk about it?' Jack asked as they got to their feet, not sure if he wanted the other man to say yes. He was just relieved that he and Daniel were moving past their argument and that Daniel seemed to have resolved whatever it was that had been bothering him.

Daniel shook his head and reached for his coffee. He still had Sam's mug, he realised absently. 'I'm OK.' He said. 'I needed to get some things sorted out in my head about…about Sha're and me.' He gestured vaguely. 'And I needed to understand something important.'

'What?' Jack asked as they began walking out.

Daniel looked over at Jack and smiled cryptically at him. 'I'm not Tantalus.'

Jack's brow creased in confusion. Wasn't the quote 'I am Spartacus'? Nope, he wasn't working that one out any time soon. 'Are you planning on explaining that?' He asked as they got into the elevator.

'I'm thinking no.' Daniel said pushing the button for the infirmary floor knowing Jack would want to catch up with Sam and Teal'c.

Jack leaned back against the wall. 'Good.' He smiled as the doors slid shut. 'Now about that crack you made the other day…'

fin.


End file.
